I had a plan to writting about my journey to Belitong on last week. But when my head stuck in front of the PC and my hand start to typing this, the plan was changed. I just got in the ‘melow’ moment again and again. I don’t know. I think, just because I watched a few romantic movies for this weekend make my feelings a bit different. I miss the way I fall in Love with somebody. But, when I figure it out I just can’t loving somebody. Because my mind only think about one man, and my heart only loves one man. That was you, Andi. I don’t want to telling you, telling my mom, or even my closest friends here or my besties in Bali. I just want to loving you in this way. from this way. I probabbly couldn’t to see you. But I could feel you. I know you are not amnesia about us. I know you are not easy to forget all the memories that we’ve done. I know you still have the same feelings towards me. I just want to tell you, that I know about everything that you feel and I relaized that I did wrong for a few months ago. Leaving you behind, never trying to contact you first, never giving you a message when I’m back to Bali, and everything else that I make you hurt. I just want to say sorry. sorry for everything that I did to you, for all the trouble, for all the lies, for all the egoism, for all the worries that make you uncomfortable for staying with me, for being overprotective, Im sorry for hugging you too tight and make you can’t breath in you own Life.
I don’t know how should I try to make you back here, stand here, stay here with me. I don’t know how could I bring back the past, or could I change the past? Just because I can not living like this. Being apart from you is hard, but now is more hardest for being apart and never get in touch with you. Do you know? I’m still loving you so much? I’m still thinking that we would be together, living happily ever after.
This time I couldn’t see you, couldn’t hear your voice, couldn’t touch your chubby cheeks, but this time I could loving you with all my heart, and I wish will be with all my Life.
As you know, my love for you still the same as my love at 4years ago. and the day we decided to be very close from just friend to be a good partner in this world, I still remember that. I hope you do the same. Because I could feel your Love, even you never telling me all this months.
Andi, I wrote this for you. I just want to say sorry if I couldn’t give the best of me. I’m sorry if this message too late to tell. I’m sorry for all the mistake that I did for all the time you going out with me. I’m sorry for being selfish. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this directly. I’m sorry for loving you this much. I’m sorry for not forget all the memories that we’ve done enough. I couldn’t express how desperate I am, just because leaving you go from my Life. I Love You for all my Life. I wish we could be together, and growing up together. being a good man and woman together, being a good parents together, being a good human for Allah SWT together. I Love You. Very Much. Forever.